Abusive men:
- Beat children (your parents, uncle)
- Torture for pleasure (uncle, Nikki)
- Control through fear (elders, authority figures)
- Protect each other (two-witness rule)
Women who enable:
- Your mother (witnessed beatings, did nothing)
- Aunt (married to torturer, stays)
- Women in congregation (enforce compliance)
- Support system that perpetuates abuse
WHY WOMEN STAY/ENABLE:
Path 2 (no introspection):
- Own trauma unexamined (probably abused themselves)
- Cognitive outsourcing (organization thinks for them)
- Death terror management (need resurrection promise)
- Easier to enable than examine
Plus:
- No options if they leave (no education, skills, support)
- Social exclusion threat (lose everyone)
- Ideological capture (sincerely believe it’s right)
- Trapped or complicit or both
THE SYSTEM REQUIRES BOTH:
Can’t function with just abusive men. Needs women to:
- Enforce compliance on children
- Normalize the abuse (“discipline”)
- Provide cover (“happy families”)
- Perpetuate across generations